On Tuesday, January 23, after a typical day and band practice with a raspy voice. We have a show coming up February 2nd so we are trying to get all our rehearsals. I did not see my husband all day and I do not remember if I did after we both got home. I think that I did because I remember him showering... but I am not sure.
Wednesday I hung out with my mom. She wanted to run errands and go to the casino. We won a little bit of money and she bought me groceries. She did not have to but she wanted me to make chicken soup to get better. Her car was still down and my uncle was fixing it. I came home with a car load of groceries that my mom bought and I had bought but it was late already of course. My husband was already asleep in the Trailer House. I put things away and I texted him that enough is enough. "Get over whatever you need to get over." I said. "Next week you are back in the house."
But when I woke up the 25th, he sent me a message saying he was done... the marriage is over. I shot back a few texts but it was all of no use. Sobbing and heart broken I let my parents know and I even reached out to his mom. I don't know why, but I was a mess, so I of course reached out.... My dad texted me, "Come home ASAP. We need to talk." And when I said I was still sick he only shot back with "ASAP". So I went.
I sent a text message to my cleaning lady who was set to come over Friday and told her I needed to cancel as my husband and I were splitting up. She never responded, I am sure this is frustrating for her though that I cancelled.
Honestly, I probably should not have gone to my dad's though ultimately I am glad I did as with all my trauma I would have found a reason not to this week. But it was not as healing for me since I had to be strong. My dad said I have many faults and true as it may be, none of that matters when someone loves you... in fact I look at his relationship with his girlfriend and I wonder why he's telling me what he is. Not to mention he does not know how I live, or how my cooking ability is or anything. My dad still judges me based on the past. And his girlfriend trying to help also told me not to feel bad because it only hurts me and that people like to feel bad because it's an attention gimmick to feel sorry for themselves. I love them both but I had to be strong the whole time when really I needed the day to fall apart before rebuilding again.
It is okay to grieve. It is okay to feel hurt. But it is necessary to heal. And I already know that.
The good thing was I got to be there with my dad during his weekly medical procedure of draining the fluid which builds in his abdomen and hearing the good news that he gained weight. I am so relieved and happy. I know he will get better and I am glad because I am not ready, nor is he, for his departure. At 60, he is much too young.
The 26th I headed back home. Still ill, still heart broken. I left in the morning before they got up and sent a text thanking them. I was going to go straight home to let the dogs out but my mom needed help so I decided to go to her first. I knew by now the dogs already soiled the bathroom floor and I would deal with that when I got home. By 9 I was at my mom's and we ran errands. I took her back to my place and we cleaned up a bit. My mom is always very soothing, very nurturing, and I did lose my voice talking to her so much about everything and venting. By the time I dropped her off I felt better. Less hurt, less lost. She also ended up buying me a rotisserie chicken... I still have to finish that.
I told her that if this is really over then I want to get pregnant via doner. But I have my best friend, Kevin M whom has known me for over a decade now and knows me best out of everyone, including my own husband. He was witness to my wedding, and while I did not have a maid of honor, he was my man of honor. We are very close and this topic has come up before Robert.
I remember thinking he was not a good candidate only because he was too close, and I wasn't sure about his role it all of it. But now, bringing it up again his understanding was that his role would be absent basically.
In any case, my mom knows him and ended up almost eagerly giving me her blessing. This is opposite my dad's and his girlfriend's reaction to just the very idea of be getting pregnant. I hate hearing that I shouldn't as when I was too young and not ready everyone told me to get pregnant when I believed I shouldn't. Needless to say... FUCK EVERYONE ELSE"S OPINION OF THE MATTER! It is my life, my choice and I will be a loving and attentive mom. I do, however want to situate myself where I have substantial income and this is not an issue... and also since I am 1099, I need to save a substantial amount so I can support myself and the baby for several months before returning to work. So anyway... my mom thinks it is a good idea if my marriage is truly dead.
Please note... it is with my husband whom I dreamed of having a family. Kevin is not second fiddle though. Having a child with my best friend considering our relationship and circumstances is a beautiful thing in and of itself. If by some miracle my marriage survives and my husband still does not want a family, this may be something I still push for.
But I did tell Kevin, both that my mom gave her approval and that I do want him involved... of course I would want the child to know who it's dad is.
My husband played hockey Friday night. And I made the chicken soup. But when he came home he simply showered and went to bed having already eaten.
Saturday morning I met up with my cousin for brunch. We talked about things, she was supportive and helped me focus on other things. We agreed we should hang out more and formed a plan to attempt to get our family close again. There was a joy that ignited within me... I don't have many friends, actually I don't have any friends whom I hang out with regularly, but family is consistent even though we've let life get in the way. Right now though, several of us could use bonding time and so this will be great!
We went to Sprouts after and she bought lunch for her son. Outside were rainbow roses... this image stands out in my mind... I should go back and buy them.
I attempted to go to work after but I am struggling still with my cough and sometimes I get drowsy so I cashed out at 70 bucks. I came home and had some chicken soup. My husband was watching a show in the TV room and his nose was runny. "You gave it to me." he said. And I realized he had slept in the house so to be with the dogs.
"Did you use my pillow? I told you to use yours because mine was covered in tears and snot!" I was surprised by this but it is indeed typical of him. Although I also took comfort knowing I was sleeping where he slept and covered in the blankets he used... My germs were in him... this is the closest we've been in a while. There is humor and irony to that.
"I flipped it over." he said and I mocked his logic. No wonder he got sick.
We ate chicken soup, and I was glad he was eating my cooking. But it still tastes a little bland since our sinuses are off.
He went to bed and I simply could not sleep. I stayed up and decided to light a couple candles and pray... my own kind of magic. I asked Jesus to help my husband. And I lit a candle in hopes for us to resolve things. I showered and cleansed my soul. Washing away hurt, and sadness, and any past sins to renew myself and face the world fresh again.
I at some point I think before that I searched ads for a washing machine. I was going to buy a brand new one and still want to with the money my dad gave me for Christmas for that purpose. I had ordered one then cancelled it because I wanted to shop for something cheaper.. but right now I just need a washer... I found one for $100 a year old... Hopefully I can buy it.
And that brings us to today. I wake up earlier than usual because it is super windy. I went to turn off the candles as I was planning to work. I got a message from the seller of the washer and I make plans to go. I forgot that my husband plays hockey, and I did not even see if he went or not but I messaged him letting him know I was headed out.
I put gas in my car and now had only 58 dollars in my account... How am I going to be a responsible adult if I keep leaking money? I work with Uber and Lyft to raise the rest.
My mother in law is amazing. I love her. She checked in on me to see how I was doing as she is worried about me. After a few messages back and forth I told her my plan is to just let her son process and go through whatever he needs while I focus on standing on my own because I still, even now, know that this doesn't mean it is over... not until it actually is.
I cash out and end up with 101 bucks in my account, so after buying the washer, I have a dollar left... I am definitely working Monday.
Upon loading the washing machine I sliced my hand open. I immediately put pressure on it and stop the bleeding and the gash seals on it's own... a good sign, I can heal.
I do not get frustrated. In fact the guy does not even know I cut my palm open until I ask if he has a band-aid... but this really was a very deep gash. I am amazed I was able to seal it so fast!
I get home after stopping by the trading post and picking up a can of dog food using the 6 bucks in my paypal account. I ask my husband for help with the washing machine.
He comes out to help seemingly right away, something I did not expect. We take it to the workshop he built and he asks about buying a new one with my dad's money, and I become frustrated and tell him it is none of his concern what I do with my money. My dad said to buy whatever I want and keep the change and I will buy a brand new one but not yet... I admitted I paid off some debts and he did not seem to mind that.
Placing the machine in it's spot he comments how I can put hooks up to hang dry clothes and how it would be a good laundry room spot once the water is connected and all... it gives me hope as it seems he is planning the future with me still in it, but perhaps I am reading too much into it.
He ends up taking a nap, and I work on a few things... I try to set up the washing machine but I cannot unhook the old washing machine. And I rake a little but it is so windy I decide it is not the right time. I go back inside and eat some cereal and he comes back to eat soup.
I talk to my friend Kurt on the phone about his move to California but I start to get sleepy from my cold again. I get off the phone and am in bed dozing off with all the animals around me. I hear my husband leave to go back out to the trailer house. I sleep.
When I wake Up I go to the bathroom. I am in my panties and a t-shirt and that is it... But my husband had also napped and woken up and decided to come into the house. I panic about my attire but manage to avoid being spotted and put on my long skirt again. Our interactions are friendly... And I catch him looking at me... is he noticing I am not wearing a bra or is it in my head? Either way he does not stare, it was quick. And he decides to go back out to the other house.
I clean up the kitchen and come here to write the blog... Now I am not sure what to do... I guess it is time to go back to bed...
*Sigh*
Wednesday I hung out with my mom. She wanted to run errands and go to the casino. We won a little bit of money and she bought me groceries. She did not have to but she wanted me to make chicken soup to get better. Her car was still down and my uncle was fixing it. I came home with a car load of groceries that my mom bought and I had bought but it was late already of course. My husband was already asleep in the Trailer House. I put things away and I texted him that enough is enough. "Get over whatever you need to get over." I said. "Next week you are back in the house."
But when I woke up the 25th, he sent me a message saying he was done... the marriage is over. I shot back a few texts but it was all of no use. Sobbing and heart broken I let my parents know and I even reached out to his mom. I don't know why, but I was a mess, so I of course reached out.... My dad texted me, "Come home ASAP. We need to talk." And when I said I was still sick he only shot back with "ASAP". So I went.
I sent a text message to my cleaning lady who was set to come over Friday and told her I needed to cancel as my husband and I were splitting up. She never responded, I am sure this is frustrating for her though that I cancelled.
Honestly, I probably should not have gone to my dad's though ultimately I am glad I did as with all my trauma I would have found a reason not to this week. But it was not as healing for me since I had to be strong. My dad said I have many faults and true as it may be, none of that matters when someone loves you... in fact I look at his relationship with his girlfriend and I wonder why he's telling me what he is. Not to mention he does not know how I live, or how my cooking ability is or anything. My dad still judges me based on the past. And his girlfriend trying to help also told me not to feel bad because it only hurts me and that people like to feel bad because it's an attention gimmick to feel sorry for themselves. I love them both but I had to be strong the whole time when really I needed the day to fall apart before rebuilding again.
It is okay to grieve. It is okay to feel hurt. But it is necessary to heal. And I already know that.
The good thing was I got to be there with my dad during his weekly medical procedure of draining the fluid which builds in his abdomen and hearing the good news that he gained weight. I am so relieved and happy. I know he will get better and I am glad because I am not ready, nor is he, for his departure. At 60, he is much too young.
The 26th I headed back home. Still ill, still heart broken. I left in the morning before they got up and sent a text thanking them. I was going to go straight home to let the dogs out but my mom needed help so I decided to go to her first. I knew by now the dogs already soiled the bathroom floor and I would deal with that when I got home. By 9 I was at my mom's and we ran errands. I took her back to my place and we cleaned up a bit. My mom is always very soothing, very nurturing, and I did lose my voice talking to her so much about everything and venting. By the time I dropped her off I felt better. Less hurt, less lost. She also ended up buying me a rotisserie chicken... I still have to finish that.
I told her that if this is really over then I want to get pregnant via doner. But I have my best friend, Kevin M whom has known me for over a decade now and knows me best out of everyone, including my own husband. He was witness to my wedding, and while I did not have a maid of honor, he was my man of honor. We are very close and this topic has come up before Robert.
I remember thinking he was not a good candidate only because he was too close, and I wasn't sure about his role it all of it. But now, bringing it up again his understanding was that his role would be absent basically.
In any case, my mom knows him and ended up almost eagerly giving me her blessing. This is opposite my dad's and his girlfriend's reaction to just the very idea of be getting pregnant. I hate hearing that I shouldn't as when I was too young and not ready everyone told me to get pregnant when I believed I shouldn't. Needless to say... FUCK EVERYONE ELSE"S OPINION OF THE MATTER! It is my life, my choice and I will be a loving and attentive mom. I do, however want to situate myself where I have substantial income and this is not an issue... and also since I am 1099, I need to save a substantial amount so I can support myself and the baby for several months before returning to work. So anyway... my mom thinks it is a good idea if my marriage is truly dead.
Please note... it is with my husband whom I dreamed of having a family. Kevin is not second fiddle though. Having a child with my best friend considering our relationship and circumstances is a beautiful thing in and of itself. If by some miracle my marriage survives and my husband still does not want a family, this may be something I still push for.
But I did tell Kevin, both that my mom gave her approval and that I do want him involved... of course I would want the child to know who it's dad is.
My husband played hockey Friday night. And I made the chicken soup. But when he came home he simply showered and went to bed having already eaten.
Saturday morning I met up with my cousin for brunch. We talked about things, she was supportive and helped me focus on other things. We agreed we should hang out more and formed a plan to attempt to get our family close again. There was a joy that ignited within me... I don't have many friends, actually I don't have any friends whom I hang out with regularly, but family is consistent even though we've let life get in the way. Right now though, several of us could use bonding time and so this will be great!
We went to Sprouts after and she bought lunch for her son. Outside were rainbow roses... this image stands out in my mind... I should go back and buy them.
I attempted to go to work after but I am struggling still with my cough and sometimes I get drowsy so I cashed out at 70 bucks. I came home and had some chicken soup. My husband was watching a show in the TV room and his nose was runny. "You gave it to me." he said. And I realized he had slept in the house so to be with the dogs.
"Did you use my pillow? I told you to use yours because mine was covered in tears and snot!" I was surprised by this but it is indeed typical of him. Although I also took comfort knowing I was sleeping where he slept and covered in the blankets he used... My germs were in him... this is the closest we've been in a while. There is humor and irony to that.
"I flipped it over." he said and I mocked his logic. No wonder he got sick.
We ate chicken soup, and I was glad he was eating my cooking. But it still tastes a little bland since our sinuses are off.
He went to bed and I simply could not sleep. I stayed up and decided to light a couple candles and pray... my own kind of magic. I asked Jesus to help my husband. And I lit a candle in hopes for us to resolve things. I showered and cleansed my soul. Washing away hurt, and sadness, and any past sins to renew myself and face the world fresh again.
I at some point I think before that I searched ads for a washing machine. I was going to buy a brand new one and still want to with the money my dad gave me for Christmas for that purpose. I had ordered one then cancelled it because I wanted to shop for something cheaper.. but right now I just need a washer... I found one for $100 a year old... Hopefully I can buy it.
And that brings us to today. I wake up earlier than usual because it is super windy. I went to turn off the candles as I was planning to work. I got a message from the seller of the washer and I make plans to go. I forgot that my husband plays hockey, and I did not even see if he went or not but I messaged him letting him know I was headed out.
I put gas in my car and now had only 58 dollars in my account... How am I going to be a responsible adult if I keep leaking money? I work with Uber and Lyft to raise the rest.
My mother in law is amazing. I love her. She checked in on me to see how I was doing as she is worried about me. After a few messages back and forth I told her my plan is to just let her son process and go through whatever he needs while I focus on standing on my own because I still, even now, know that this doesn't mean it is over... not until it actually is.
I cash out and end up with 101 bucks in my account, so after buying the washer, I have a dollar left... I am definitely working Monday.
Upon loading the washing machine I sliced my hand open. I immediately put pressure on it and stop the bleeding and the gash seals on it's own... a good sign, I can heal.
I do not get frustrated. In fact the guy does not even know I cut my palm open until I ask if he has a band-aid... but this really was a very deep gash. I am amazed I was able to seal it so fast!
I get home after stopping by the trading post and picking up a can of dog food using the 6 bucks in my paypal account. I ask my husband for help with the washing machine.
He comes out to help seemingly right away, something I did not expect. We take it to the workshop he built and he asks about buying a new one with my dad's money, and I become frustrated and tell him it is none of his concern what I do with my money. My dad said to buy whatever I want and keep the change and I will buy a brand new one but not yet... I admitted I paid off some debts and he did not seem to mind that.
Placing the machine in it's spot he comments how I can put hooks up to hang dry clothes and how it would be a good laundry room spot once the water is connected and all... it gives me hope as it seems he is planning the future with me still in it, but perhaps I am reading too much into it.
He ends up taking a nap, and I work on a few things... I try to set up the washing machine but I cannot unhook the old washing machine. And I rake a little but it is so windy I decide it is not the right time. I go back inside and eat some cereal and he comes back to eat soup.
I talk to my friend Kurt on the phone about his move to California but I start to get sleepy from my cold again. I get off the phone and am in bed dozing off with all the animals around me. I hear my husband leave to go back out to the trailer house. I sleep.
When I wake Up I go to the bathroom. I am in my panties and a t-shirt and that is it... But my husband had also napped and woken up and decided to come into the house. I panic about my attire but manage to avoid being spotted and put on my long skirt again. Our interactions are friendly... And I catch him looking at me... is he noticing I am not wearing a bra or is it in my head? Either way he does not stare, it was quick. And he decides to go back out to the other house.
I clean up the kitchen and come here to write the blog... Now I am not sure what to do... I guess it is time to go back to bed...
*Sigh*
ReplyDeleteEFFECTIVE AND POWERFUL LOVE SPELL CASTER AND LOTTERY SPELL 2019 GBOJIESPIRITUALTEMPLE@GMAIL.COM OR WHATSAPP HIM :+2349066410185
Hi i am from USA I have just experience the wonders of Dr. gbojie love spell, that have been spread on the internet and worldwide, How he marvelously helped people all over the world to restored back their marriage life and get back lost lovers, and also help to win lottery. I contacted him after going through so many testimonies from different people how he help to bring back ex lover back, i told him about my husband that abandoned me about 8 months ago, and left home with all i had.. Dr GBOJIE only told me to smile and have a rest of mind he will handle all in just 24 hours, After the second day my husband called me, i was just so shocked, i pick the call and couldn't believe my ears, he was really begging me to forgive him and making promises on phone.. He came back home and also got me a new car just for him to proof his love for me. i was so happy and called Dr Gbojie and thanked him, he only told me to share the good news all over the world .. Well if you need an effective and real spell caster contact Dr gbojie Via email: gbojiespiritualtemple@gmail. com or Call or WhatsApp: +2349066410185 or check out his website : http://gbojiespiritualtemple.website2.me