"Burning Slowly" by The Crash Recovery (Lyrics and Melody by me)

You know what? When I wrote these lyrics, they were about a struggle that my husband and I wen't through. By the time I wrote this song, we were good.

But I listen to it, and I think, wow... this man... How is it that I love him so very much?

I am the chaser in this relationship, and he is the withdrawer... and this is a pattern... and knowing this, knowing the things that I know, I am beginning to think I was right all along when I used to introduce him as my soulmate. Even if my concept of soulmates differs from the traditional or widely accepted one.

Soulmates challenge each other, it's not suppose to be easy. And yet, it can be, it has been, and it is...
Anyway. This song is about commitment, and working things through. The music video has nothing to do with it but is fitting if you don't know what the message is suppose to be.

Truth be told, any time I have emotional insecurities or vulnerabilities within my relationship, I listen to this song and "Always Beside You"... Did I mention that I am a big fan of this band I am a part of even if we have been on hiatus for a long while? I always feel like I am listening to someone else, the quality and all. Plus we got to work with Grammy winning producers! Wow!!!

Comments

BFC Ink Doll Collection Complete!!

Well, if it isn't obvious, I got into doll collection, but I suppose I always was a doll collector, just not really by choice as my mom would buy me a porcelain doll every year for my birthday until I moved away for college, but even then I still got porcelain dolls as gifts from her and other members of my family. Over the years of course I have collected dolls from the 80's like the Kimberly doll by Tommy, and of course Barbie... then I got into repainting Bratz dolls the past couple of years and added Monster High to the list of dolls to look for at flea markets etc... But one day, by chance I came across the now out of production MGA Entertainment 18" BFC Ink (Best Friends Club Ink) dolls. These dolls are way cuter, in my opinion, than American Girl Dolls (which I really do not like at all actually) or Journey Girls etc... They have a hard body all the way and were made in two types. The first productions were just all vinyl bodies, much like the Wellie W...

My dad is gone and I am sad, but I get angry too

I did not cry as much today though I still have sporadic bouts of sadness and heart break... But I admit, I get angry too. I have been cycling through the stages of grief. But the anger one I keep inside because it will hurt others, because it places blame on me, and on others... I get angry about circumstances and situations, and paradigms and perceptions, and ideas, and it's pointless to be angry. He's gone. My dad is gone, I can't call him anymore, he'll never respond to my text or email again. We will never sing together again. I will never be annoyed at him or laugh at his jokes again. I will never receive a gift from him again or worry if my gift to him was good enough because I just want him to be proud of me. I will never get to act out, or step up in his presence again. I had 36 wonderful years with fractions of them allocated to spending time with him and I feel it was enough, but I would have wanted more. There was so much we stil...

What is control anyway? What is expectation in love?

I don't believe in control. I can influence, and place my intention into my day, but control is just a false idea of your maneuvering. If there truly is control it is of yourself only and if you feel outside forces have control of you it is because you are letting them... But also... lets talk about love, because we find ourselves disappointed or frustrated but that only comes from expectation. I see nothing wrong with expectation as long as it is not unreasonable. For example I expect my partner to be kind, and considerate, basically to be a decent human being... My partner would expect the same of me... But sometimes they just plain ole don't want you that much, just a little, just when it suits them... well, then your expectations should shift to yourself. I expect myself to treat myself better and one way is to remove myself from crappy situations... The disappointment if I were to stay is not in them, it is in me for being in that mindset ...

The Life of Syren Franco

Search This Blog