I have been getting up late. This is getting out of hand... and I really need to go back to the Kaiser clinic to get my blood-work done. I've lost the morning, but I can at least go out and earn money. I get dressed, my butterfly print top, and khaki pants... I opt to wear my slipper boots... who do I have to impress? This is not my best outfit. I don't care.
I get to work but it is already 1:30. After a couple of rides I remember it is Thursday. Wasn't I going to carpool with Bryce from Finding THETIS? I send a text message.
"We carpooling?"
"I was just thinking about you" he replies. We joke about food before hand and decide to grab pizza on the way to practice, thus we should meet up at 4. Itis now about 2:30 and I become self aware to what I am wearing... yeah, no one cares, but suddenly I don't want to be this frumpy around my band. I stop by Ross and buy some dressy pants, a dressier blue shirt, and some shoes, I grab socks on my way to the register too. After paying I go to the dressing rooms and change. I head over to Bryce's vinyard home to pick him up. We did not discuss who was going to drive, but I figured I should.
Once I am there he buzzes me in, I hang out for a few minutes at his house as he looks for a gift for me. He tosses me a stripey pink hoodie, a very girly one, with his other band's logo on it. "I love pink!" I tell him and he is glad he had something for me and tells me he is trying to give something to everyone. "This is your merch?" I am impressed! "Dude, Blackwater Prophecy's t-shirts were plain black with a plain white graphic on it. The fanciest thing we had to offer was tank tops with the logo across the chest and the band name tramp stamped on the back!"
He had a graphic press and would buy cool looking shirts, panties, head bands, slippers, and anything at bargain places and then heat press the graphic onto them and give them out at shows for promo. It's genius!
We loaded on his gear into the car and headed over to an Italian place in El Cajon. Two large pizza's and a moscato each later, we are riding in the car with pizza boxes to band practice. We talk about our music experiences, being in bands, dealing with creative endeavors and everything. Truth be told, I like Bryce, I like all the guys in Finding THETIS, and I like my band mates in The Crash Recover, whom I miss and really want to have a reunion with. Spending time with these guys individually has garnered my appreciation for the uniqueness of each member. It makes me reflect on friendships. I have few truly bonded lasting friends and of those none of them are daily friends. Band's are the closes thing to having that group of friends like in the high school days.
We all get to practice except for Andre who somehow missed the message that we were going to practice. I don't mind since last week they rehearsed without me, but the guys are really aching for a full band practice with both vocalists. Our show is coming up Feb 2nd. We gotta make sure we are all tight!
We have a great practice but I notice Sky getting sick. Last week Jesse asked me not to go to practice if I was getting sick so I asked after Sky kept grabbing some toilet paper to blow his nose, "Are you getting the flu?" San Diego has had a bad flu outbreak lately, everyone seems to be getting it.
By the end of practice he admits it, "You guys, I think I am getting sick!"
On the ride home Bryce laughs about how I called Sky out on it. We get back to his place and he shows me more merch, slippers and panties he used to give away at shows. I suggest we do this for Finding THETIS. We talk a bit about the future of this band when we know Sky has to move away. I think to myself and hope that Bryce and I can somehow continue working together. I hope all of us can continue being friends, but lately I know this is not how life works, not for me. People move on...
We talk about dating problems. What it is like to date at our age, and what it is like to fight for a relationship. All in all it feels good to talk to someone who doesn't know everything, although I end up telling him everything. My faults, my journey, how I was betrayed and how I let myself down. I tell him how sudden my current situation feels to me, even if maybe it wasn't. And I express my determination to fight for my husband. Bryce reminds me how much fun my husband had at his 4rth of July party in the vinyard. I am glad he did and I point out how happy my husband can be around people. I gotta get him out more.
We divide the pizza and then we decide to go to a dispensary. I am out of that lemonade stuff and he wants vape juice. It turns into an adventure since we had to hunt down a bank, then we were told the place closed and were sent to a different address. When we find it we laugh at how many people were there but also feel we should be cautious as it was not in the greatest of neighborhoods and there were some sketchy looking people outside just hanging out.
I end up buying more than I wanted to spend, $45. But I got myself two bottles and a moonrock, which, who knows when that will get enjoyed... most likely I will offer it to guests. But now I have more to offer. Bryce buys his vape juice. We go back to his place and I offer for him to try one of the lemonades. he tries the strawberry one and loves it. Maybe he will buy some next time.
I head home, it is now almost 11, and I am sleepy. I ponder why I am not rushing home lately. It's because I don't feel wanted. I am giving my husband space. I wonder if this is too much space.
When I get home, my love is asleep of course and the cats are outside. They all follow me back inside. I feed them and I decide not to block. I am too sleepy. I don't brush my teeth. I go straight to bed and two of my three dogs and all four cats opt to join me. I am cocooned into the blankets, but I sleep cozily surrounded by the love of these wonderful beings.
I get to work but it is already 1:30. After a couple of rides I remember it is Thursday. Wasn't I going to carpool with Bryce from Finding THETIS? I send a text message.
"We carpooling?"
"I was just thinking about you" he replies. We joke about food before hand and decide to grab pizza on the way to practice, thus we should meet up at 4. Itis now about 2:30 and I become self aware to what I am wearing... yeah, no one cares, but suddenly I don't want to be this frumpy around my band. I stop by Ross and buy some dressy pants, a dressier blue shirt, and some shoes, I grab socks on my way to the register too. After paying I go to the dressing rooms and change. I head over to Bryce's vinyard home to pick him up. We did not discuss who was going to drive, but I figured I should.
Once I am there he buzzes me in, I hang out for a few minutes at his house as he looks for a gift for me. He tosses me a stripey pink hoodie, a very girly one, with his other band's logo on it. "I love pink!" I tell him and he is glad he had something for me and tells me he is trying to give something to everyone. "This is your merch?" I am impressed! "Dude, Blackwater Prophecy's t-shirts were plain black with a plain white graphic on it. The fanciest thing we had to offer was tank tops with the logo across the chest and the band name tramp stamped on the back!"
He had a graphic press and would buy cool looking shirts, panties, head bands, slippers, and anything at bargain places and then heat press the graphic onto them and give them out at shows for promo. It's genius!
We loaded on his gear into the car and headed over to an Italian place in El Cajon. Two large pizza's and a moscato each later, we are riding in the car with pizza boxes to band practice. We talk about our music experiences, being in bands, dealing with creative endeavors and everything. Truth be told, I like Bryce, I like all the guys in Finding THETIS, and I like my band mates in The Crash Recover, whom I miss and really want to have a reunion with. Spending time with these guys individually has garnered my appreciation for the uniqueness of each member. It makes me reflect on friendships. I have few truly bonded lasting friends and of those none of them are daily friends. Band's are the closes thing to having that group of friends like in the high school days.
We all get to practice except for Andre who somehow missed the message that we were going to practice. I don't mind since last week they rehearsed without me, but the guys are really aching for a full band practice with both vocalists. Our show is coming up Feb 2nd. We gotta make sure we are all tight!
We have a great practice but I notice Sky getting sick. Last week Jesse asked me not to go to practice if I was getting sick so I asked after Sky kept grabbing some toilet paper to blow his nose, "Are you getting the flu?" San Diego has had a bad flu outbreak lately, everyone seems to be getting it.
By the end of practice he admits it, "You guys, I think I am getting sick!"
On the ride home Bryce laughs about how I called Sky out on it. We get back to his place and he shows me more merch, slippers and panties he used to give away at shows. I suggest we do this for Finding THETIS. We talk a bit about the future of this band when we know Sky has to move away. I think to myself and hope that Bryce and I can somehow continue working together. I hope all of us can continue being friends, but lately I know this is not how life works, not for me. People move on...
We talk about dating problems. What it is like to date at our age, and what it is like to fight for a relationship. All in all it feels good to talk to someone who doesn't know everything, although I end up telling him everything. My faults, my journey, how I was betrayed and how I let myself down. I tell him how sudden my current situation feels to me, even if maybe it wasn't. And I express my determination to fight for my husband. Bryce reminds me how much fun my husband had at his 4rth of July party in the vinyard. I am glad he did and I point out how happy my husband can be around people. I gotta get him out more.
We divide the pizza and then we decide to go to a dispensary. I am out of that lemonade stuff and he wants vape juice. It turns into an adventure since we had to hunt down a bank, then we were told the place closed and were sent to a different address. When we find it we laugh at how many people were there but also feel we should be cautious as it was not in the greatest of neighborhoods and there were some sketchy looking people outside just hanging out.
I end up buying more than I wanted to spend, $45. But I got myself two bottles and a moonrock, which, who knows when that will get enjoyed... most likely I will offer it to guests. But now I have more to offer. Bryce buys his vape juice. We go back to his place and I offer for him to try one of the lemonades. he tries the strawberry one and loves it. Maybe he will buy some next time.
I head home, it is now almost 11, and I am sleepy. I ponder why I am not rushing home lately. It's because I don't feel wanted. I am giving my husband space. I wonder if this is too much space.
When I get home, my love is asleep of course and the cats are outside. They all follow me back inside. I feed them and I decide not to block. I am too sleepy. I don't brush my teeth. I go straight to bed and two of my three dogs and all four cats opt to join me. I am cocooned into the blankets, but I sleep cozily surrounded by the love of these wonderful beings.
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