Being January 8th, this is the first day of the second week of the year... and it falls on a Monday.
What I have noticed so far is that the moon phases seem to be faster. It was a full moon on the first and a few days later it was already a half moon. A couple of days ago my mom tells me she heard on the TV or somewhere equivalent that the Earth's spin is not 16 hours and that is why things seem to move faster. But I said, "That makes no sense, the days would be drastically different too."
Anyway... Again, changing names to preserve some privacy...
January 7th
I had it in mind to go visit my dad in Orange County. He has been very ill and I want to be there for him and spend time with him. Sometimes I wish I could move in to help take care of him and support his girlfriend, Avery, in her care giving efforts. But I know that is unlikely.
I decided to at least drive for Uber and Lyft and as I headed out I realized I was still short on cash so I borrowed $60 from the coin jar, where my husband had put the money for the water truck... We get our water trucked in because our well is dry. I intended to replace it when I got home after driving.
I texted my dad and his girlfriend but got no answer. I began to drive to head that way and logged into Uber and Lyft. After a couple rides I cashed out and called my mom to see what she was up to. She was going to come over Monday and I wanted to touch base about it. She encouraged me to just show up at my dad's and I figured I should as well. I made it all the way up there and was scared they would not answer.
My sisters have told me they will show up and no one answers and I hoped that would not happen to me. I rang the door bell and heard people inside as the dogs barked and worried some more. My dad answered and I was relieved but immediately a bit disappointed because he right away said they had to go to an appointment.
"That's okay," I said, " I come bearing gifts though!." And I presented three books I brought up with me. One was the Gerson Therapy, the other was Miracle Mineral Supplement, and the third was Try It On Everything, which is EFT or Tapping for stress and things like that.
Not even a minute later my aunt Natalia showed up with her kids. Of course this happens a lot. Time alone with my dad is very rare and very precious to me. We had a joke, my 5 younger siblings and I, that our dad is The Most Interesting Man In The World, accent and all! And it is true, he has lived such a life that the world loves him and wants to be around him. I know what it is like to have a great father and to be in awe of him, but my love for him is special. Where once I was a child and was angry at him, and then I was an young adult and was happy to mend things with him, I am not a fellow being in this realm and I see him as a man, as imperfect, and I am proud of him as a parent would be, as a sibling would be, and yes as a daughter can be. It has been quite the journey.
There is is before me, now frail, and in pain. Oh father, how I wish I could heal you with just love.
But He looked better and I wondered if it was wishful thinking that he did or if he actually did. Avery asked me if I noticed he gained some weight back. This is great news! He needs to put on weight!
I helped my dad with sneaking some Pelegrino water. he kept saying that Avery and her mom are being the food police and don't let him eat what he wants. Eventually he called over and suggested we all share the Galette de Rois, the French 3 Kings Cake which should have been eaten the day before. It was a different cake, from the North of France, and the tradition is whoever gets the chocolate almond in their cake gets a chocolate tile and is the King. Interesting!
I also helped my dad drink some cold milk but I think Avery figured it out. She didn't want him to drink the cold milk because she said it would hit his stomach like a rock... but these things frustrate him as he keeps saying he knows his body and knows what he can and cannot handle. This is painful for me to experience, him wanting any type of food and being denied that. Especially since he said most things make him throw up. But he must be eating more because he did indeed put on more weight.
Finally they had to get to the appointment and my aunt and I left them too it. Avery gave me a brown shopping bag full of chips and cereal and other things that they just can't eat. I didn't really look but I took it and I picked some fruit from their trees... can I consume fruit doing a keto diet? This may be a mistake.
It was good that my aunt showed up because I got to talk to her about taxes, I think she can help us, and this will hopefully relieve some stress from my husband.
I drove for Lyft some more in Orange County before heading back. My friend Kevin wanted me to visit him and I would have liked to but I wanted to get home. I had the feeling the cats were outside and it would be dark. I'd rather they be inside for safety.
I texted my husband and asked if he wanted to watch The Travelers with me since we liked it so much. He said, "sure" and I felt myself get happy about it, even excited. He could watch the show on his own but he wanted to share that with me.
I stopped by the store to pick up some liquor for a friend, and I pulled out cash to replace what I had taken earlier and spend on gasoline along the way. Upon getting home I discretely replaced the money and sat down next to my husband to watch the show. We ate left over pizza as we did. I felt myself fill with joy knowing we were sitting next to each other. It felt like forever since we had and it really has not been that long. Usually he sits on his lazy boy now that it's not full of blankets.
I admit I wanted to snuggle with him but I didn't want to make it awkward if that was a possibility.
It got late and again, he said he had to go to bed, and of course, he works early.
I waited again to turn off the light. Truth be told, I like watching him enter the house and seeing his silhouette through the window. If I cannot kiss him goodnight, then this is better than nothing.
Again, in bed with my animals, less this time, I think only two dogs and two cats. I wondered if my husband would ever want to share the bed again or if he is sleeping better without me. Honestly, I'd rather he sleep better without me, than suffer my annoying snuggling. I cannot be mad, and now I find it hard to be sad. I just don't believe there is any danger, I have faith everything is going to be alright, better even.
What I have noticed so far is that the moon phases seem to be faster. It was a full moon on the first and a few days later it was already a half moon. A couple of days ago my mom tells me she heard on the TV or somewhere equivalent that the Earth's spin is not 16 hours and that is why things seem to move faster. But I said, "That makes no sense, the days would be drastically different too."
Anyway... Again, changing names to preserve some privacy...
January 7th
I had it in mind to go visit my dad in Orange County. He has been very ill and I want to be there for him and spend time with him. Sometimes I wish I could move in to help take care of him and support his girlfriend, Avery, in her care giving efforts. But I know that is unlikely.
I decided to at least drive for Uber and Lyft and as I headed out I realized I was still short on cash so I borrowed $60 from the coin jar, where my husband had put the money for the water truck... We get our water trucked in because our well is dry. I intended to replace it when I got home after driving.
I texted my dad and his girlfriend but got no answer. I began to drive to head that way and logged into Uber and Lyft. After a couple rides I cashed out and called my mom to see what she was up to. She was going to come over Monday and I wanted to touch base about it. She encouraged me to just show up at my dad's and I figured I should as well. I made it all the way up there and was scared they would not answer.
My sisters have told me they will show up and no one answers and I hoped that would not happen to me. I rang the door bell and heard people inside as the dogs barked and worried some more. My dad answered and I was relieved but immediately a bit disappointed because he right away said they had to go to an appointment.
"That's okay," I said, " I come bearing gifts though!." And I presented three books I brought up with me. One was the Gerson Therapy, the other was Miracle Mineral Supplement, and the third was Try It On Everything, which is EFT or Tapping for stress and things like that.
Not even a minute later my aunt Natalia showed up with her kids. Of course this happens a lot. Time alone with my dad is very rare and very precious to me. We had a joke, my 5 younger siblings and I, that our dad is The Most Interesting Man In The World, accent and all! And it is true, he has lived such a life that the world loves him and wants to be around him. I know what it is like to have a great father and to be in awe of him, but my love for him is special. Where once I was a child and was angry at him, and then I was an young adult and was happy to mend things with him, I am not a fellow being in this realm and I see him as a man, as imperfect, and I am proud of him as a parent would be, as a sibling would be, and yes as a daughter can be. It has been quite the journey.
There is is before me, now frail, and in pain. Oh father, how I wish I could heal you with just love.
But He looked better and I wondered if it was wishful thinking that he did or if he actually did. Avery asked me if I noticed he gained some weight back. This is great news! He needs to put on weight!
I helped my dad with sneaking some Pelegrino water. he kept saying that Avery and her mom are being the food police and don't let him eat what he wants. Eventually he called over and suggested we all share the Galette de Rois, the French 3 Kings Cake which should have been eaten the day before. It was a different cake, from the North of France, and the tradition is whoever gets the chocolate almond in their cake gets a chocolate tile and is the King. Interesting!
I also helped my dad drink some cold milk but I think Avery figured it out. She didn't want him to drink the cold milk because she said it would hit his stomach like a rock... but these things frustrate him as he keeps saying he knows his body and knows what he can and cannot handle. This is painful for me to experience, him wanting any type of food and being denied that. Especially since he said most things make him throw up. But he must be eating more because he did indeed put on more weight.
Finally they had to get to the appointment and my aunt and I left them too it. Avery gave me a brown shopping bag full of chips and cereal and other things that they just can't eat. I didn't really look but I took it and I picked some fruit from their trees... can I consume fruit doing a keto diet? This may be a mistake.
It was good that my aunt showed up because I got to talk to her about taxes, I think she can help us, and this will hopefully relieve some stress from my husband.
I drove for Lyft some more in Orange County before heading back. My friend Kevin wanted me to visit him and I would have liked to but I wanted to get home. I had the feeling the cats were outside and it would be dark. I'd rather they be inside for safety.
I texted my husband and asked if he wanted to watch The Travelers with me since we liked it so much. He said, "sure" and I felt myself get happy about it, even excited. He could watch the show on his own but he wanted to share that with me.
I stopped by the store to pick up some liquor for a friend, and I pulled out cash to replace what I had taken earlier and spend on gasoline along the way. Upon getting home I discretely replaced the money and sat down next to my husband to watch the show. We ate left over pizza as we did. I felt myself fill with joy knowing we were sitting next to each other. It felt like forever since we had and it really has not been that long. Usually he sits on his lazy boy now that it's not full of blankets.
I admit I wanted to snuggle with him but I didn't want to make it awkward if that was a possibility.
It got late and again, he said he had to go to bed, and of course, he works early.
I waited again to turn off the light. Truth be told, I like watching him enter the house and seeing his silhouette through the window. If I cannot kiss him goodnight, then this is better than nothing.
Again, in bed with my animals, less this time, I think only two dogs and two cats. I wondered if my husband would ever want to share the bed again or if he is sleeping better without me. Honestly, I'd rather he sleep better without me, than suffer my annoying snuggling. I cannot be mad, and now I find it hard to be sad. I just don't believe there is any danger, I have faith everything is going to be alright, better even.
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