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Day 8: Cleaning up

I woke up today and checked my bank account and saw that I had an extra $60!  My bank does a deposit match for random winners of their program, which all members are a part of.  It would have been cool to have deposited a lot more, but this is still really neat! This set me up to feel I have started on a good note, that I am working in harmony with myself and things are going to work out!



I cleaned the kitchen.  It was filthy and is only half done.  I even cleaned the appliances.  The water got delivered and I was able to wash dishes.

I reinforced our fence so that Artemis, my wolf dog would stop jumping out.  And I tested the theory of my rig when I went to visit my neighbor to see a new puppy they are fostering.  It worked!

I covered the washer and dryer outside because it was going to rain, and I moved things around on our porch so they do not get wet, I even rolled up the rugs and stored them. I am waiting on the delivery of my new washer, but just in case the old one is salvageable, I wanted to preserve it.

Mostly though, I researched Ketosis.  I am intermittent fasting but I have not applied all the dieting.  In fact there is still a lot of foods with hidden sugars in my diet.

As one point I was talking to my cousin Nessa and we compared notes on how parallel our lives are right now in our struggles with our marriages.  I even went back to reference that fateful email my husband had sent back in November regarding his downward spiral of emotions in late October, just after our anniversary.

Reading it in this state was so different, and I had to reply.  I missed something before but I saw it now.  And I replied a lengthy email again with my adjustment and acknowledgment for my husbands almost asking me for help.  I was too hurt before.

I don't know if it helped or not, he keeps saying I have hope when he doesn't... no... I have faith.  Hope is for those who don't know, but faith is for those who do know.  And I know this is nothing, I know we can build a better us if we both put in the effort.  I am fighting for him because that is what I would want for him to do for me.

My husband got home and I offered to make him some tacos, at first he declined but then when I said I was making them for me, he accepted.  I wondered if he didn't want me to go out of my way because he is trying to be separate from me.  I think I won't let him.

I suggested watching the show and we did.  He did not sit at the couch, he sat in his chair, and I did not mind because Sophia decided to snuggle with him.  I told him she misses him and he should let he sleep with him tonight, but he did not.

His face has been bleeding.  First his cheek, now his forehead. He scratched his forehead and was surprised to draw blood.  I became concerned and got up to see.  I inspected him and realized he was giving me a look.  I don't know what the look was.  Perhaps he thought I was ridiculous because he thinks it is nothing.  Perhaps he felt my love and concern for him.  I may be thinking too much about it but obviously, I just don't know anything when it comes to his feelings for me, so I wonder.   It was hardly anything, though still troubling to me that his face has been bleeding.  I made him put on Jafra Royal Jelly to moisturize but I wish he'd let me attempt to treat his skin.

I was the one who asked if he was okay or needed to go to bed during the show before the next episode.  He agreed to go to bed.  I asked for a hug and he obliged.  He squeezed me.Maybe he liked my email... maybe he was being nice... just the same, I love him.

Off to bed I go, and taking at least one cat with me...

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