This morning after getting out of bed, tending to the animals, and unloading the tires in my car, I decide to head out and drive a few hours before my appointment. The idea is I will come home as a break and head out again at night. I walk out and notice cat, Togame, paying attention to that new tire. Again I wonder if it was from a fatal accident. I start to think of good horror movie ideas based on that premise but alas, I went to work.
I think about the Lyft driver from yesterday, I wonder how I can maximize my earnings to earn $800 in one weekend. I think my best night was $290 and I put in 10 hours.
Thinking about money starts to give me anxiety. I think about the therapy costs of $180 every week. I cannot afford that. I don't want to go to my next appointment now. I wonder why I ever did such a thing, and now that separation is a real threat I can't afford the luxury of seeking therapy.
I give a couple of rides and end up at a taco shop to eat breakfast, even though it is 1 p.m. now. I get excited to see that right next door is a chicken and waffles place. I realize I am in Barrio Logan and find it ironic. This place has some really neat art pieces.
After my fifth ride I head over to my doctor's appointment. I am a bit nervous they'll ask for a copay but it was just a wellness check and those are free. Once in, I got the flu shot and as I waited for the doc I grabbed a nutrition pamphlet on having a plant based diet.
My doctor comes in and remembers me. Full disclosure I think he is cute in an innocent way. I have this admiration for his mannerisms and idiosyncrasies. Though honestly it was that he is into natural medicine which led me to choose him two years ago. We catch up and I tell him all the symptoms I have been having and he thought of a few things and ordered a bunch of tests. I told him I gained a lot of weight since a year ago and he showed me some of Kaisers wellness programs for weight loss. It's good way to make new friends and build a support group", he informed me.
I tell him I feel that is beneficial and it opened up the conversation about how I have been feeling emotionally lately. He was kind and supportive, and I asked if Kaiser has a mental health coverage. I have it! I can see someone for $75 a visit rather than $180!!! This is great news to me!
I leave the visit with a preliminary diagnosis of IBS and Gastritis and a lot of resourcces to help as well as a prescription. I don't go to the pharmacy today, I can wait. I don't have much money right now, and I have to earn more.
I give a couple more rides and head home after getting some KFC, the second meal of the day. The first meal was two tacos de cabeza and an horchata. I think about everything I need to do on the way home. I know I can accomplish it all. I make it close to home and notice I need gas. I barely made enough to cover gas today. I need to get back out there to drive some more. But I am tired. Are these excuses I am making? I decide to stay home and drive all day tomorrow. My husband will be home to handle the animals. And in the morning I can pick up recovering party animals and airport rides, and at night I get the Sat Club crowd.
I get home and I feed all the animals. Just as they finish, I hear my husband get home. He walks in and I ask if he wants to watch Travelers again. He said maybe one episode. I sit on the recliner rather than next to him, and Sophia and Penelope lay next to him. After the episode he showered and got ready for bed. He disconnected the PS3 and took it out to his sleeping quarters.
I admit, I always feel a sting of sadness when he leaved the house to willingly and comfortably sleep away from me. How I miss him, and he does not miss me. And to be sad about this can be used as ammo against me with the argument that I am not happy so this does not work anymore, and rather that fix it, he will say he has given up and has no hope. How am I not crazy yet? This riddle has me tangled in a web.
But that is fine. I am going to bed now too. As I finish this blog it occurrs to me that the doctor touched me more in that medical visit than my husband has since late October. Ah life.
I think about the Lyft driver from yesterday, I wonder how I can maximize my earnings to earn $800 in one weekend. I think my best night was $290 and I put in 10 hours.
Thinking about money starts to give me anxiety. I think about the therapy costs of $180 every week. I cannot afford that. I don't want to go to my next appointment now. I wonder why I ever did such a thing, and now that separation is a real threat I can't afford the luxury of seeking therapy.
I give a couple of rides and end up at a taco shop to eat breakfast, even though it is 1 p.m. now. I get excited to see that right next door is a chicken and waffles place. I realize I am in Barrio Logan and find it ironic. This place has some really neat art pieces.
After my fifth ride I head over to my doctor's appointment. I am a bit nervous they'll ask for a copay but it was just a wellness check and those are free. Once in, I got the flu shot and as I waited for the doc I grabbed a nutrition pamphlet on having a plant based diet.
My doctor comes in and remembers me. Full disclosure I think he is cute in an innocent way. I have this admiration for his mannerisms and idiosyncrasies. Though honestly it was that he is into natural medicine which led me to choose him two years ago. We catch up and I tell him all the symptoms I have been having and he thought of a few things and ordered a bunch of tests. I told him I gained a lot of weight since a year ago and he showed me some of Kaisers wellness programs for weight loss. It's good way to make new friends and build a support group", he informed me.
I tell him I feel that is beneficial and it opened up the conversation about how I have been feeling emotionally lately. He was kind and supportive, and I asked if Kaiser has a mental health coverage. I have it! I can see someone for $75 a visit rather than $180!!! This is great news to me!
I leave the visit with a preliminary diagnosis of IBS and Gastritis and a lot of resourcces to help as well as a prescription. I don't go to the pharmacy today, I can wait. I don't have much money right now, and I have to earn more.
I give a couple more rides and head home after getting some KFC, the second meal of the day. The first meal was two tacos de cabeza and an horchata. I think about everything I need to do on the way home. I know I can accomplish it all. I make it close to home and notice I need gas. I barely made enough to cover gas today. I need to get back out there to drive some more. But I am tired. Are these excuses I am making? I decide to stay home and drive all day tomorrow. My husband will be home to handle the animals. And in the morning I can pick up recovering party animals and airport rides, and at night I get the Sat Club crowd.
I get home and I feed all the animals. Just as they finish, I hear my husband get home. He walks in and I ask if he wants to watch Travelers again. He said maybe one episode. I sit on the recliner rather than next to him, and Sophia and Penelope lay next to him. After the episode he showered and got ready for bed. He disconnected the PS3 and took it out to his sleeping quarters.
I admit, I always feel a sting of sadness when he leaved the house to willingly and comfortably sleep away from me. How I miss him, and he does not miss me. And to be sad about this can be used as ammo against me with the argument that I am not happy so this does not work anymore, and rather that fix it, he will say he has given up and has no hope. How am I not crazy yet? This riddle has me tangled in a web.
But that is fine. I am going to bed now too. As I finish this blog it occurrs to me that the doctor touched me more in that medical visit than my husband has since late October. Ah life.
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