It's really difficult to shine your inner light and love when you are overwhelmed with gloomy circumstances. I am for the most part doing okay. But my soon to be officially ex-husband is so cheery and happy to be rid of me until I try to talk to him and figure things out. He thinks staying out of my way is better, but if I don't see him but know he is here, it hurts, and if I see him, as happy as I am to see him, I remember the reality of things and it hurts... I want him here and I want him out. He'll survive this and thrive, and I will survive this and struggle... but it is a struggle that will lead to growth. I know that. All I want is my home... I don't want to lose my home. It's all financial for him but it is more than that to me. This is where my mom will ultimately come live, with my brother too. This is where I want to raise kids which I hope to adopt since life threw me this situation. This is where my animals are happy and can