I did not cry as much today though I still have sporadic bouts of sadness and heart break... But I admit, I get angry too. I have been cycling through the stages of grief. But the anger one I keep inside because it will hurt others, because it places blame on me, and on others... I get angry about circumstances and situations, and paradigms and perceptions, and ideas, and it's pointless to be angry. He's gone. My dad is gone, I can't call him anymore, he'll never respond to my text or email again. We will never sing together again. I will never be annoyed at him or laugh at his jokes again. I will never receive a gift from him again or worry if my gift to him was good enough because I just want him to be proud of me. I will never get to act out, or step up in his presence again. I had 36 wonderful years with fractions of them allocated to spending time with him and I feel it was enough, but I would have wanted more. There was so much we stil