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Showing posts from May, 2014

Dreams with answers? Why are you poor?

Last night I have yet another epic and lucid dream...  But there was a scene, which today listening to NPR and watching my Facebook feed I realized was a theme for me to address throughout the day and I can see how it worked it's way into my psyche. A Note to my self: Poverty, not poverty on a grand scale, but person to person.   Why are you poor?   Firstly poverty is a mindset of lack.  I know this.  I've learned this.  And poverty can mean several things but I am talking about financial poverty. In the dream I was talking with a friend and he bragged about living like a rich man but I observed him sitting at the cafe table, coffee in hand, and I observed his lifestyle in general to which I was compelled to answer, "You do not live like a rich man, you are poor.  Do you know why?  Because you think like a poor man.  Do you know why?  Because your parents taught you to be poor." I went on explaining that we learn our parents habits.  Debt, over

Whiny, Insecure, Bratty Adults... UGH!

Am I one of these?  I'd like to think I am not. Whiny....  So I whine a lot?  I remember being told I do.  I might.  Maybe I do... I just hope I don't sound like that chick from Friends...  But actually I think I've cut down on the whining.  Robert says I go through moods...  I guess I need to be more aware of it. Am I insecure?  No... Well I was.  I was... I remember feeling that way, there are remnants of it still but I've chosen to shed those feelings for they do not serve me.  No longer do I post selfies, no longer do I care.  Yes... I take the occasional one, my profile is a selfie, but I don't take daily ones: "Hey me at the super market, me at the fast food drive through, me at the suicide jumper scene, me eating salsa..."  etc.  Nope.  If I do it is more like... hey check out my new hair color since you haven't seen be for a while and I am usually the one taking photos of everyone.  I don't even care how cute or not I look... but yea

Witch Witch You're A Witch

Hanging out with my mom the other day, a commercial comes on...  it's of a psychic lady giving zodiac advice.  My mom says to me, "I always pictured you'd grow up to be one of them."  Whaaaaa?!  I laughed...  I laughed because maybe I am one of them... But was I always so obvious?  So I asked her to explain which she did.... She pictured I'd grow up to be a witchy lady, you know flowey robes or afgan dresses, crystal balls, tarot cards, healer, helping people.  I contemplated this for a moment and it made me happy.  Yes.  Yes I would have liked to be that way, and I was indeed headed that way quite seriously.  But I encountered people who changed my mind.  I encountered people who showed me what I didn't want to be.  And so I did not follow that path commercially, so now it is not obvious.  I still chant, I still light candles, and I still heal friends, those who let me, those who believe, because the healing arts are not what you think.  We each heal

A very dear and old friend of mine took my breath away...

Writing to me about me in the third person... This is just... well it is beautiful. I don't know if this is bragging, or what...  I don't see myself like this...  for someone to, it's amazing to me. Wow...  Just wow. "The thing about Syren you have to understand is she will always find her way to the thing that she wants.  You might get caught up in what she lets you see and assume she is scatter brained and unfocused, and sometimes she may even fall victim to believing this herself; but time and time again she will prove she is a force, and one not to be reckoned with.  If she loves you, you are blessed and she will never stop loving you, even when you feel she has cut you out of her life, she will keep hoping you succeed and find happiness.  Even if she is angry at your carelessness, selfishness, or transgressions against others, she still loves you in a way most people cannot understand from prolonged exposure to human selfishness.  But do not cross her

Yep, I am fat, and I like it.

LOL Arguing with someone about my being fat.  I say I am, he says I am not.  I say it's ok, it's true, I am fat, I like me, but he is offended that I would think I am fat.  I do not think, I know.  But I am okay with it,  You know how I know?  Because I was not always fat.  This is not something you can convince me I am not when I know what it is like to be thin but I am bigger now. Here's the thing, and I proudly say it... I honestly like my size today.  Sometimes I feel bad about it when people talk poop, sure, but for the most part, I like the way clothes look on me.  I like the way I feel under my own skin.  I feel healthy enough to get the amount of physical activity I do want.  I have no desire of stressing myself out to be thin... If I get thin it will be because of my lifestyle and not because I decided to diet and expend energy doing physical activities for the purpose of losing weight.   If I get thin it is because I am eating just as much but better,