Last night i slipped into my dream world.
There I dreamed of my “My Child” dolls, my mom and brother moving in, job prospects (which when I woke up I had emails for), motor cycles, interaction with people I have never met, China Town, flying like a super hero, and pregnancy possibly threatened.
And it’s the last one which was the most graphic and impacting to me.
I was showering and I realized I was pregnant, several months along it seemed. I got out of the shower and placed my hands on my belly and looked at it, the fetus was pressing his/her feet and hands against my belly so I can see a clear outline of them. In my minds eye I could see the fetus in it’s peaceful state inside of me. I was calm and zen about it. I grabbed a black towel to dry up and looked in the mirror to see blood smeared on my thighs. I checked the towel and there were very strange blood clots like jelly. Large and all over.
I did not feel sick and I didn’t feel the fetus was in danger, but I was concerned as to where the blood was coming from.
I checked and it was not coming from me, there was no miscarriage. I don’t know what that meant in the dream.
I woke up just after to Artemis wanting to jump on the bed and then of course my day began.
I am glad I am healthy, and perhaps we’ll have kids, perhaps we won’t. Truth be told, I do not have baby fever. Pregnancy has always scared me. I’d almost prefer adopting an infant to getting pregnant, because it’s the motherhood experience that I wish to have.
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