Hanging out with my mom the other day, a commercial comes on... it's of a psychic lady giving zodiac advice. My mom says to me, "I always pictured you'd grow up to be one of them." Whaaaaa?!
I laughed... I laughed because maybe I am one of them... But was I always so obvious? So I asked her to explain which she did.... She pictured I'd grow up to be a witchy lady, you know flowey robes or afgan dresses, crystal balls, tarot cards, healer, helping people. I contemplated this for a moment and it made me happy. Yes. Yes I would have liked to be that way, and I was indeed headed that way quite seriously. But I encountered people who changed my mind. I encountered people who showed me what I didn't want to be. And so I did not follow that path commercially, so now it is not obvious.
I still chant, I still light candles, and I still heal friends, those who let me, those who believe, because the healing arts are not what you think. We each heal ourselves, the healer only helps you facilitate this ability.
Anyway, I took one of those internet quizzes, what magical something or other are you... and this was the result...
"A practitioner of magic, you were blessed with the ability to attain objectives or acquire wisdom using supernatural means. You are both the master of illusion and of creation. Your powers can transform beings and objects into their most desired form, or... their harshest nightmares"
The last roommate we had told me she thought I was like a magical unicorn changing things to my will, influencing people to my illusions... She saw me wrong. I do not do this, though I do always end up on the path for myself I choose, I can only try to steer people to the path that is most productive. Obviously this is not a successful thing for me as I have tried to help many but people make their own choices. I do not control anyone, nor do I wish to... mainly because, honestly, I don't care what you do so long as it works for you and everyone around you.
I live here in Jamul. My night's drive home is guided by the moon and accompanied by the stars. I have an alter conveniently facing the direction my BOS says it should and this was an accident. And the sun rises over my head from the east. I meditate on a large granite boulder on my property, and am surrounded by oak trees. I live in a sanctuary and this was no accident. We saw this place and we knew it was home.
What is magic but our own thoughts and intentions manifesting upon focusing on that thing which with think of? And what is illusion but this reality? Yes I manipulate my own reality, we all do.
I no longer believe in magic the way I used to. Rituals with candles and elements... bahumbug! The magic is within you, within me. We control our own outcome. Source, Creator, God and or Goddess is all within us. To worship at a temple we need only look inward. Blessings come from within us and we manifest, and we light up the world.
I do want to buy those flow-ey dresses. I do want to help people. I already do it. But not many know this side of me. I don't share it with many.
So, this is the closest I get to sharing it.
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