Yes now I am thinking I want kids in less that 5 years.

Moment of arrogance for me perhaps...

Listening to Love line on the way home from the recording studio with Citizens In Peril, Dr. Drew talked about how parents today seem to not be able to separate self from parent from child and instead see their kids as extensions of themselves rather than their own entity, their own individual.  This is something I've been saying for the majority of my life, since I became aware of this anyway.  I then realized, the day I become a mother, I am going to be an awesome mom...

Why and how do I know this?  Well first off, I respect that each child is a human being, not their parent, not their society.  They are their own person and though we can influence them, they will ultimately choose their own perceptions.  It's our job as parents and as a village ("It takes a village to raise a child") to arm them with the right tools so they can defend against lies and instead seek truth... Problem is we all have our own idea of what lies or truths are...

Regardless, I believe in my reality enough to want to sponsor a soul into coming into this reality.  Take that as you will.

But the truth is, I would be a good mom because I don't want to have more kids than I can handle.  I believe in quality over quantity.  So if I have two or three children I can better focus on them.  I don't think it is fair to have an only child.  Though I was not an only child, the age difference and distance between my siblings and split home caused me to pretty much live as an only child for the majority of my youth.  It's lonely.  There is something beautiful about knowing you have sibling.  Other people who share 100% of your genetics though in different combinations.  All of my siblings only share 50% but even that is pretty darn amazing to see how much alike we all are to each other, my older bro and I and my younger siblings and I.

So, I'd want to raise at least two kids, but not too crazy about any more than 3... that's pushing it, especially now that I know how two dogs and a cat is a lot of work... Kids are more work.

I also understand it isn't about me.  I don't believe many people understand that.  Everyone says, when you have a child it's all about them... but not many parents follow through.  Not my mom, not my dad, not many of my friends and family follor through.  And if you are sitting there protesting, really think about it.  How many times has your child really wanted something but it was an inconvenience or a fear for you so you said no.  See?  it's not about them, it's about you.

If my kids don't want to do music, no matter how much I would want them to, I will never ever force them.  If I see they have an inept ability to do mathamatics and their school is pushing for advancement but the child would much rather study art instead, then I would encourage that.  Why would I ever force my child to do something that does not bring them joy?  Money?  No, there are many ways to earn a living and a prestigious high salary job won't guarantee their happiness anyway.  Besides, in any field you can become and expert, you can become a teacher/trainer/ you can become the go to person for advice maybe even publish a book...  Just about any field (yes not all) would offer that opportunity for growth.  Besifdes, would Justin Bieber be where he is if his parents didn't encourage his passions right off the bat.  They didn't sit there and say, "No son, there are millions who try and fail, and you're only 8.  Stay focused on school and go to college." No!  Instead they saw he LOVED music and encouraged him to improve on it.  The more serious he took it, the more they encouraged and they went out of their way to drive him around to whatever meetings and auditions he needed to go to just as if it was any other soccer practice or after school tutoring program.

But what I've seen from many parents is instead pushing for the things they felt they missed out on and they try to press that only their kids.

I vow to never push for my own missed opportunities... My unborn children's lives are their own.

Also why I'd be a good mom?  I'd let them fall every now and again.  I'd prepare them so if they were to fail they could learn from it rather than see it as defeat.  In a way I want Spartan children.  When I think of them I see them in greek attire but that is silliness and indeed imposing my own missed opportunities on them too... Yes, I wanted to be a Spartan...  Literally in fact, I wanted to go to a different high school so I could be a Spartan like my older brother Joe, but my mom convinced me walking distance was better in case she couldn't pick me up after school and I became an Aztec instead... still pretty bad ass though.

Anyway, yes, I vow, the day I become a mother, I will do my best to arm those beings with the right tools and skills so they can thrive on their own, because after all, I'm only going to live to 150, and after that, they will have to do things totally on their own with their own tree branch to worry about.

Maybe I say all this cause I am 30 and finally want kids.  it only took 3 decades (Some kids know they want to be parents when they are little, I actually had an anthem against getting married etc as a child).

So... Hopefully, I'll have my own children before I am 34... if not, I might adopt.

But you might say, "Maria!  You need to get married first!  Kids need a father!"

No, I don't and they kinda do but not really...  And even though I said no, not necessary, I do have a man in mind. =)  So yeah duh... The kids will have myself and a father and we will be similar but not exactly like the parents from Easy A.  Great movie =)

The end.

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Daniel Appel and Mathew Cohen like this.

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Mathew Cohen ...but I'm moving to Seattle. ;P

May 3, 2012 at 10:59pm · Unlike · 1